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Dad...the aftermath

Dad went to the Grand Rapids Home for Veterans on the 25th of February. I plan to go visit (if my heart-sister can get a sitter for her children) this coming Monday. I'm going to take him some clothes, sit in on a conference meeting with his care providers, and just check on his well-being. It will be a long trip up and back, but I'm looking forward to it. He IS better off and I'm beginning to feel my wings start to dry off and spread.

This month was difficult, financially. The rent was not adjusted and my disability check only went so far. I'm just glad that I'm not experiencing the alternative. I could be homeless. Thank God, I'm not.

I took an idea from azure_horizon and made up a list of 101 Things I would like to do this year. I came up with 105. (Over achiever.)  People continue to tell me that this is 'my time'. Well now I have the time and no money. With dad, I had the money and no time. Life is crazy. 

Anyway, back to my list, another heart-sister (Rosita) and I are planning to wear dresses from the 1860's this summer.  The planning is so much fun. The execution will be challenging. My target date is June 15th. I want to be done with everything. We'll have a dress rehearsal on the 19th and the coming out day will be on the 20th. After that we will do renaissance attire for the faire. Those seem to be the most cost effective, right now. That will give me 3 more things to check off my list. I've finished 2 others already.

I want to fix up my apartment so that it reflects my interest, which are castles, things that remind me of Paris (to which I have never been), Stargate Atlantis, and things that come from nature. I want the walls to lose their 'landlord white' appearance and I have to do that without changing anything. I would love to be able to paint but no can do (Jethro). So I'm planning to do a series of canvases and apply them to the walls. This will minimize the holes in the walls and guarantee no application of paint. I could go the liquid starch/fabric route but then the walls are not high-grade and I would be afraid of pulling the dry wall off when removal time comes.

I want my bedroom to have a medieval castle motif, along with the dining room and livingroom. The livingroom seems to be morphing from medieval-cottage to castle.  My sewing/craft/office room has been dubbed the 'wormhole' and although it doesn't have a Sci-Fi theme, it still makes me feel that I've gone far away into another realm when I go in there. My computer is there and I'm often in the Pegasus Galaxy in my head, anyway (not obsessive). The kitchen is still up for grabs. I don't really want to go in there, at all. I often hear the ghost of 'eating something/anything' calling my name and one of my 101 things is to dress well this year. Can't say diet because that makes me hungry (addictive personality, go figure).

I have been caring for my parents, off and on since I was 10, and now there's no one who needs me to bring them a cup of water or to help them to the bathroom. Some days I'm amazed by this.  I'll be even more amazed if I find myself doing a lot of the things I've put on my list. They call for me to be ME. This will be an adventure of a lifetime, this finding out who I am when I am with me.

Writer's Block: AKA

What's the story behind your username?
I was trying to find something that would describe me and what I like, yet be catchy and easy to remember. So I like most  things 'space' oriented and I am most often alone in the things I enjoy to do, so '1'. Then I thought, since finding fandom, I have been on an exciting journey, thus 'traveler'.

This was my attempt to see if I had what it takes to write an SGA story. It was done for the LFWS challenge, one, round two. Alas, I did not think I was ready so, I did not join the challenge. I did let azure_horizon look it over because I think very highly of her and really enjoy her writing. After reading post in Cannon_Library I wanted to post there and azure_horizon said,  "Yes, I think you should. It'll be good for you to get out there, get other people's opinions, too." I'm still a scaredy cat so I'm posting it here. But at least its posted. So here goes...I hope you enjoy it. (Sorry, I still have not figured out how to do that cut thing.)

SGA disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or its characters. MGM Television, SciFi Channel, those other people do though, so no infringement was intended no money was made or exchanged. Just having fun playing with my boyz. 


Strangers through the Ring

Loifan watched from the trees.  The four came through the ring. The tall one was a Satedan, from his tattoos.  The woman Athosian, from her dress. There was one with funny hair; the other short and talkative. Either or both would do.

They walked on, headed toward the small village, five miles north. Loifan couldn’t hear words but watched as they laughed. Slowly, quietly he faded into the shadows. He needed help. His wife and children were important. The Ancestors would forgive because his cause was righteous.

 “Jombic, come with me!” Jombic saw his friend Loifan coming across the field.   Something bad had happened.  Loifan never rushed.

 “Loifan?” He smiled, “Looks like you swallowed a fruk.” Loifan did not smile.

 “No time to fun. Need…help.”

 “What is it?”

 “The officials took Marica…the children! Obic says I owe him for his stupid ponk! I can not pay his price!”  

 “Obic, is a thief…what is your plan?”

 “Strangers came through the ring...them for Marica and the children.”

 “A good plan. Where are the strangers now?”

 “On the main road. I do not believe they have been here before. Let’s shortcut through the field!”

When Loifan and Jombic caught up to the four, Loifan thought they had been seen. “Short Mouth was looking around in a panic.  The Satedan sidled up to “Funny Hair” and spoke.  “Funny Hair” continued to smile. The Satedan spoke again and the Athosian replied. None looked their way. Loifan breathed easier.

 On Loifan’s signal Jombic fired. Two yellow beams left both weapons striking the Athosian and the Satedan, dropping them like stones.  “Short mouth” yelped.  “Funny Hair” crouched taking a defensive position over his friend, yelling for ‘Short Mouth”, called Rodney to grab the Athosian calling her, Teyla.

 Rodney did, dragging her behind the closest boulder.  “Funny Hair” followed quickly with the Satedan.  Loifan called out to them.  “Please, your companions are only stunned. Give yourselves up, we will not hurt you.”

 “What do you want?”

 No one spoke for a time.  Suddenly, the strangers stood, hands raised in surrender. Jombic grinned at his friend. Loifan smiled. This was going better than planned.

 Loifan stood. “Stay there. Throw down your weapons.”

 Both men complied. “Now, what?” “Funny Hair” asked.

 Loifan began making his way down, “Come, Jombic secure them!” Jombic arose, following his friend to the hill’s bottom.

  Reaching the bottom, Jombic looked up to see “Funny Hair” pulling a large weapon from behind him, firing. Loifan falling.  Jombic attempted to return fire, too late.

 “You could have begun with, ‘Greetings.’” “Funny Hair”, whose name was Colonel John Sheppard said with anger.  Colonel Sheppard stared at them, “No, everyone just shoots first!” Loifan and Jombic ducked their heads in shame. This was not how they had been taught to treat strangers.  

 Rodney, listened while giving water to Ronon, the Satedan and Teyla. The two were weak, but conscience.

 “Okay,” Colonel Sheppard said sighing, “How can we help you?”  Loifan looked up, surprised at his kindness, and began to speak.

 The End

Writer's Block: In a Former Life

Do you believe in reincarnation? If your answer is "yes," describe some of your past lives.
No. I believe you get one chance to prove you worth. What good would be a second chance unless you were able to correct all the mistakes of the first life and be perfect in the second.

Friends Page, Visit to dad,

I am so far behind in reading my Friend's Page. I will start that this weekend and play catch up. Can anyone tell me how to delete some of the entries when I've read them?

I went to see dad today. It was pleasant and I'm sure he had no idea who I was, but it was nice to see him. The doctor, social worker, and 7 to 3p nurse tried to make me feel 'okay' about the decision to put him in placement. I'm still not 'okay' but I realize it was necessary. Plus there was good news, dad will be able to go into the veterans facility. I'm really glad about that.

On with life...

Day of Sadness

Hi Ruthie,

Dad has been placed in the Bronson Lakeview Hospital, Geriatric Psych Ward in Paw Paw, MI for eval this evening. This morning he was uncooperative; just as he was last night when he urinated on the livingroom floor.

 This morning was the last nanobyte.  I told him "That's it, I've had it!" I blocked the hallway and left him in the bathroom. I didn't want to look at him. I called, crying, to the day care about 8:30am and told them that he was not coming and hung up. Called everyone else that had anything to do with his daily jaunt and told them the same thing and hung up. I didn't want to talk about it.  The day care called me back and asked after his health and my reply was, "He's still alive, I haven't killed him yet". That sent up red flags everywhere and by this time, tonight he is finding his room in the psych ward. I cried as the APS worker drove me away. I wanted to keep him until he passed away.

 I called Dianne, still crying, and she said I should have let the bus come and take him to day care. I told her I couldn't get him dress because in order to get him dress I would have to look at him and I didn't want to look at him. Ruthie, if I had gone back in that bathroom and looked at that man, I would have punched his lights out. That would have been bad and I would be finding my cell bunk right about now.

 As I cried and prayed this morning, while all of this was going on, I said "Jesus, help me!" and He took care of it all before sundown. The last thing my dad said to me while we were waiting on his transport to Paw Paw was, "Ya happy now?" Not once while others were around did he say anything bad to me. That last little remark was made as we stood in the hallway alone. As soon as the others returned, he was his old jolly self again.

 Even though I feel like a failure, everyone involved have been telling me that I have done an excellent job with him. They say 14 years is a LONG time to deal with an Alzheimer's patient. I know it hasn't been all bad.

 There were those magic moments that I will treasure and those crazy moments that will make me laugh when I think of them. Like him wearing his 'pair of shirt'. He was my Mr. Frodo and I tried to be his Sam-wise, I never really succeeded. I miss him right now. I don't have anyone to holler at *sob-sniff*. Maybe I should get a cat. My place isn't big enough for a miniature donkey (LOL).

 Tonight is the first night that all the lights are off in the apartment. I'm all alone here.

 There is to be an official hearing on the 23rd of this month. All my siblings need to be contacted to express their need/desire to be his guardian, like they are going to step up to the plate now. I called my brother too this morning. I wanted to smash his face in with the phone by the time I was through talking to him. When did I become a homicidal maniac? Do you know?

Last thing--After the 23rd the results of the eval will determine where dad is to go. I think because of his vet status they want to put him in the Veterans Home for the Aged. I hope they do. He should get that benefit, at least, from being in WWII.

 Okay, that's it. I don't want to go to bed. Partly because I dreamed about mom and Sis Simpson last night. Both dead. Maybe it has nothing to do with my feelings or maybe its just part of the depression that's trying to wrap its bony arms around me. OR maybe its the Dr. Pepper and the root beer I just drank.  I don't know...talk at you soon.

For your hard work, here is the promised award image:

All due to x_erikah_x! Now I know how much of a nerd I am.


fun quiz for myspace profile and blogThank again, x_erikah_x!

Who me?

fun quiz for myspace profile and blogFound this link at x_erikahs_x site. Thanks Erikah, this was fun!


Thank you for the most wonderful year of my life. Seriously. I have met many more interesting, humorous, and friendly people  since I began to read fan fiction and found the Live Journal site than any other year I have lived, and I have lived many years. 

I wish you all a very Merry merry and a Happy ho ho!  God bless you all!